I hate playdates. There, I've said it.
After today, I'm going to have to wait until my kids have left home before I try and make any friends. I WILL not have playdates here again, and because these things are reciprocal, I don't suppose we'll get invited after a while.
So that's it. I will chat to mums in the playground, at our music class and in the library, but it ends there. If the mums want our kids to play together, they can enrol them at the same preschool next year. And if it's me you're interested in, well, it'll have to be in the evening when they're fast asleep.
I'll tell you why.
Because I don't want to hear non-stop hysterical screaming from no.1, 2 and 3 over the same bloody toy.
Because it's not fair that the boys' things get torn apart from the constant pulling and tugging.
Because I don't want to comfort my children, and their children, every two minutes.
Because I don't want to spend days tidying up and clearing away special toys that might get wrecked, only for the place to get trashed anyway and major upset over a broken toy (it turns out every toy is special).
Because I don't want to spend the whole time watching where the other kids are in case they're up to no good.
Because I don't want to try so bloody hard to keep a conversation going that stops and starts so many goddamn times, because one of us has been torn away to comfort no.1 child, then the other has to run and stop no.2 and no.3 from killing eachother. You spend a few minutes trying to recall what you were talking about, you remember and then get dragged away to enforce time-out because no.3 walloped no.4 over the head. This goes on and on for the entire duration of the playdate.
Because I don't want to pretend that all of the above is OK.
Because, really, the only reason I organised this was for me and my boys to enjoy other people's company. And guess what? I'm having a crappy time and they're both wailing.
Because I'm now so tired and exhausted from the stress of it all.
And I'm not the only one. Kian, the poor little soul, fell asleep while he was eating his lunch. I went into the kitchen to fetch something, turned around and he was away.
I'm not surprised. It was quite a morning.